I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
