My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
The air was thick with penises
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
