And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
