I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
