too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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