when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
