Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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