so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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