So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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