and next time when you feel me up, do it right
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
