I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
