Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
