Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Randomize
