i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
