Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
