Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
