If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
