He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
