Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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