I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
