You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
