We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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