I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Four minutes until I can fart!
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
