Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
