oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
