After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
