Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
