I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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