He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
