You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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