elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
