After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
grandma shit on top of the toilet
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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