best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
