its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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