I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
