My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
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