dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
