She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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