next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
