You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
