um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
True strength comes from lack of pants
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
