Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
