i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
