I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
