Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
did you just send me my own nude
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
