So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
