Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
