I wanna passion pit in your ass
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
