I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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