i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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