He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
