what if every blade of grass was a penis?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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