Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
